True Repentance Defined
All the illusions I constructed my identity from became held in the ego’s death grip as my eyes were opened to the great contradiction known as my life. Now at this point I could either create a reason to continue believing lies (denial) or I could take a huge leap of faith by nailing my former self with all it’s grandiose ambitions to the cross. To repent means to change course. Two roads become visible the wide road and the narrow road. When I look back on my life it becomes painfully evident that I have been on the road of destruction and now I either admit it or carry on pretending that the pain does not exist. However sin is killing me… I can feel it as the stress hormones course through my veins and my heart races out of control. My relationships either end quickly or are a complete joke. Life has become a destructive pursuit of that very first high… a high that may never return again. To change course now would require starting over, relearning everything all over again, my whole mind would have to be rebuilt and my heart would have to be renewed… I would literally have to be born again.
