The eternal torture chamber called hell invented by the Catholic Church is hypocritical. WHY? Fundamental Christians state it is OK for god not to force people into having a relationship with him, yet it is OK for God to force those who don't have a relationship with him into hell by default. A truly loving god would actually create a happy place in between for the people he loves who don't love him back to spend their eternity. Fundamental Christians worship a weak god who is incapable of reconciling all things to himself. Would it surprise you if God was so good that people have become blind to His existence in this life? WHY? My point is to challenge every human limitation that people place upon God's grace and love.
Rehabilitating people is the purest form of justice. A just God fixes people by bringing them back to their original state. Life is a part of this journey. The challenges we face show us the truth about ourselves and the world at large. Heaven and hell are about how we handle those challenges in the here and now. An out of control ego is a living hell, but the servant of ALL experiences God's kingdom in a great way. Meditation is when you look within and you become the book and you obtain the ability to change the story midway through.
They call this returning to our original state, reclaiming our childlike faith, becoming fully human again or returning home. For me finding my home is feeling fully comfortable in my own skin again. At the root of all dysfunction lies a lack of self acceptance which causes us to behave strangely or isolate ourselves at times. It is sad to find that so many people have become the victims of their own self rejection. Self rejection keeps us from feeling at home and prevents us from being who we were created to be. Self rejection is a cage with invisible bars that holds many people hostage by making them feel alone or misunderstood.
As I focused on the demon of self rejection I gained the ability to place it under the light of awareness. The truth is that our society as a whole is plagued by this demon and it leaves people feeling like orphans, but we are not orphans… we are one. The coolest thing about facing your fear of rejection is finding out there are a lot of people out there facing the exact same fear in the exact same way.
Labels are a symptom of self rejection because people use labels as a way of gaining acceptance. When we reject our self we will fail to understand people and our solution will be create categories to careless classify people. Consider the categories good and evil. It is extremely ignorant to believe that people just wake up one day and out of the blue decide to be dysfunctional. Since Christianity is plagued by self rejection it generically defines/judges people and circumstances. Most Christians actually think they have everything figured out including God. My feeling is that it is not a god classifying people it is mans tendency of self rejection doing so and this constant judging is the root of politics, religions and wars.
Ultimately who we are is dependent upon how we judge God or whether we judge God. An agnostic for example refuses to judge God. A religious cult has extreme judgments of God's character. In between agnostic and religious cults are people who also judge God in harmful ways. There are a lot of people out there who claim they have grown past these unhealthy fears, but then they go around judging people or even worse judging God Himself. I am merely posting thoughts to challenge the thought of those who careless judge God. When people judge God they apply limits to His love which then leads to carelessly categorizing people. When people erroneously judge God they will justify wars and hateful behavior. When people erroneously judge god they create their own hell on earth.
The most extreme Christians I knew over 20 years ago are either currently depressed or they no longer practice Christianity. When I finally took an honest look at where history leads these individuals it was eye opening. Some of these people were pastors and worship leaders, while others were members who devoted 100% of themselves to serving the institution/cause. People who suffer from extreme self rejection or low self esteem often become these so called “on fire” Christians. People turn to Christianity as a way to feel good about them self. Christianity often becomes a way for people with low self esteem to feel smart, superior or useful. The institutional church is like the drug pusher who capitalizes upon these lost souls who are in search of purpose. People often become Christians for the same reasons they become cops or join the military. Inside of all of us is a desire to fit in or to feel significant. I believe most turn to Christianity seeking a sort of high and their visits to the institution are more about reaching that emotional high. Just like injecting heroine eventually you can’t get enough heroine to create that first time high experience. At this point a religious addict becomes depressed. I am not just someone trying to get attention; I am a person who fell into this miserable trap. I went to Bible College and devoted years of my life to the dream of becoming a pastor.
I am currently watching people waste their lives climbing the institutional ladder knowing the higher they climb the more it will injure them WHEN they fall. By the time you throw half your life away serving the institution or serving your low self esteem (not God) you have sacrificed precious time that you will never get back. People leave the ministry and they can’t find a job which pays enough to support their family. If the only skills a person has is being a pastor they will find themselves trapped by institutionalism or living in poverty making low wages. The only worse scenario is a life time trapped inside religious addiction.
There is a phrase that applies to many things that states “too hot not to cool down”. When we try to be a super hero we end up having to create villains to sustain our super stardom. Suddenly a person who just simply disagrees with you becomes LOST or CRAZY or FALLEN AWAY maybe even possessed by SATAN. Funny how Christians condemn those who practice deep meditation YET every Sunday they close their eyes and try to do the same thing. In other words Christianity is like a glass of water that used to be pure, but somebody through-out the years put poison in the water and now the whole glass is contaminated. Case in point… if I set up a meeting and invited all the local “Christians” what kind of people would show up? If we base our observations on reality then Christianity has been ruined. Most of which we classify as Christian has been poisoned by those people seeking a high being exploited by those selling them books, tickets to seminars and retreats. It is not just the religion of Christianity that has been poisoned all you have to do is follow the money in any religion to see the story behind the story.
Drugs, religion and codependent relationships are interchangeable addictions the addictive personality can often substitute one for the other, but all are addictions. When one switches to religion a codependent relationship with god becomes their new drug. A codependent relationship with god can even cause a person to believe that god is addicted to them. Some go there entire life being addicted to drugs, religion or living in codependent relationships. A loving father desires dignity for his children, not dependence. It is extremely unhealthy to use people, drugs or god in a way that enables the denial of dysfunction. When we use unhealthy means to veil our dysfunctions we grant our inner demons free access to torment us. When we deny our dysfunctions we give them complete control over us. Dependence is a very sad dysfunction and codependency is powerful. The problem is that enabling the dysfunctions of another often makes us feel powerful because it enables our own dysfunctions. We often get caught playing these hero victim roles and it is unhealthy and ugly.
People manufacture a god and then make it his responsibility to complete them. People create a drug called god then prescribe it to themselves as a cure and many end up disappointed. The people who turn god into a drug create a miserable world, then they blame the world instead of taking responsibility. No wonder so many Christians sit and wish that god would bring the world (really their world) to an end. All relationships based upon this hero victim phenomenon (including marriages) come to an end. God is not addicted to you and He does not want you to be addicted to Him.
Years ago a wise man taught me that "Depression is anger turned inward". Today I often ask… Why did I let that happen? How can I prevent that from happening again? The best anger is experienced when we finally take responsibility for the things that we allow to exist by stopping the blame game. Power is given not obtained, so that which has power over us is being empowered by us. Ungrateful people who complain day after day have chosen to empower their dark side. Do I have a dark side? Of course! Today I make a choice not to dwell within the dark corner of my soul lest I empower it to produce destructive results upon my life.
What initially leads many to Christianity is dysfunction. I used to be a Christian. I became a Christian in my childhood. I was ridiculed as an over weight child and ruthlessly terrorized by bullies. In the middle of this interpersonal struggle my severely handicapped little sister was born. As the bullies at school tortured me I was already being tortured inside my heart watching my new little sister endure risky surgeries and tests at the hospital. At a very important developmental time in my life my vulnerabilities shaped into the perfect victim for fundamental Christianity. At a time when I desperately needed a self esteem boost Christianity told me that god accepted a pitiful mess like me. The god of Christianity became the pimp and I became the whore. Thank God that today I am no longer that victim. Today I use my painful past to connect with the pain of others and free them from bondage.
In the dark corner of my soul I found perfectionism. The form of perfectionism I battle leads one not to play at all for he would rather sit on the sidelines then play an imperfect game. When we expose a demon in our soul it becomes our teacher on its way out the door. It is sad the way perfectionism holds people hostage on the sidelines of life. Perfectionism keeps many people from living out their purpose. Our dysfunction make us vulnerable to both the trappings of extremism and addiction. Christianity made it easy for me to sit in the church pew on the sidelines because the self described experts were there to play the game. In my mind I pictured the day when I too would be an expert behind the pulpit and no longer be a spectator sitting in the church pew. My demons taught me that abusers use hope as a tool to manipulate people. I learned that I was never on the sidelines to begin with.
My life has been a journey to the dark corners of my soul. I have been beaten into shape by my demons. When we face our demons they teach us to dwell in the light. When we ignore our demons they have complete control over us. I have had destructive times in my life where I chose to love the darkness of misery. Misery loves company because the ego is easily insulted by those who contradict our excuses to be miserable. This is why we find herds of miserable people together drinking their sorrows away. Miserable people deeply resent happy people because behind ones misery they are protecting an excuse that empowers misery. Some people are afraid to be happy because of what happiness means. To some happiness means letting go of a dream, an addiction, a religion or for some of the unemployed it means facing their fear of rejection and going on job interviews. Being miserable is far easier then being happy, so some choose misery by building a case to be miserable. If you want to piss off a person who loves misery start jeopardizing the excuses they use to be miserable.
Be fully human. Drop the mask of ego, political correctness and religion. End the performance and become the true essence of yourself. If you hurt then be hurt. If you’re angry then be angry. You’ll never find yourself until you become yourself. Healing begins with the real you, not your illusions created by self hatred. Love who you are in this moment. Give yourself the freedom to be fully human.
Freedom begins when we refuse to be shoved into the box of religion or politics. There is not a box in existence that could contain any human being. People only create labels as a sort of “in” crowd to manipulate others and generate a sense of belonging. Don’t be boxed in by a group or ideology. When you conform yourself to the image of a religion or particular political party it is just the same as worshipping an idol. An open heart and mind makes it far easier to love people from all back grounds. When you open your heart and mind you may discover you have no enemies. When you open your heart and mind you are saying I am not superior to others.
Life improves when one replaces both religion and politics with spirituality. Why? Spirituality states we cannot begin learning until we remove our masks and become our true self. Religion and politics encourage people to go through the motions or to obey without questioning. Spirituality says be yourself, but religion says you are not good enough. Religion and politics replace the freedom to question with conformity. When we are pressured to hide our weaknesses they will never get addressed. Once you label yourself with a religion or political party your pride is on the line and now you feel obligated to defend a religion or political party instead of the truth. Humility is you just being you. Jesus said if we hate or lust in our heart it is the same as committing the actual offense. You cannot grow as a person being politically correct. You will never grow spiritually by conforming yourself to a religion. Growth starts with you just being you. Maybe when we express our hatred we will learn it is not really hatred at all. Maybe if we express our lust we will find our significant other.
Many who say they are not into religion or politics still follow a rigid code of conduct in their mind. A quick way to identify the nonreligious who act religious is by their judgmental behavior. Many who say they are not religious still practice a rigid lifestyle reflective of religious legalism. A person who does not go to the institutional church may still be enslaved by a false perception manufactured by a toxic past. Some are enslaved by a future that may or may not materialize. These people are often isolating them self in the same way that religious people isolate them self behind the four walls of a church. When a person finds a problem with just about everybody they meet… maybe they are the one who actually has the problem.
The greatest sign of spirituality is peace that passes understanding. Those who lack this peace that passes understanding are enslaved to their mind’s attempt to construct a box. Our mind tries to demand that we control a situation by understanding it. Our mind will fill in the blanks or create a fantasy in order to construct the illusion of control. The problem is simply that allowing your insecurities to fill in the blanks will make your life a living hell. WHY? Name one thing you completely understand. If we are honest with our self we will discover that all truths are half truths. If we base our peace upon our understanding our peace will constantly interrupted by hell. Peace comes when we surrender this tendency to fill in blanks. Peace comes when we accept the blanks instead of shoving mental junk inside those blank spots.
Suffering occurs when we resist the moment. What we label inconvenience is that which we refuse to accept. Our mind constantly tries to block or explain the moment away. Be here, now. We can’t change that which is. Change occurs by embracing the moment, not judging it. Rejecting the moment creates emotional static. Love is patient. Patients accepts that which is. Surrender is freedom. Jesus said “resist not evil”
Our reality only furthers our reality… If I wake up everyday believing I am a loser how will that effect my choice of words, my tone of voice, my facial expressions, my level of neediness, my posture, my breathing patterns and my level of awareness? How will the presupposition of I am a loser effect how others see and relate to me? Let’s spin this around and say I wake up in the mirror each day and say I am an almighty pastor? The level of reality we construct is blinding. Why do we even need perception when our only reality is this present moment? Human nature has a tendency to poison the moment with a toxic past or destroy the moment with future fears. Sometimes we feel accepted before we are truly accepted and other times we feel rejected before we are truly rejected. How much of our reality is the construct of our own illusion? Let’s say I show up on a blind date with a woman feeling like a loser… now I am making it her responsibility to make ME feel like a winner? Or let’s say I show up on a blind date feeling like the king… now I am making her sick. A life built upon the fluctuations of perception is a life built upon an unpredictable sea. Why should we attach our moods to the unpredictable stormy weather of perception? Your perception is a liar, but the pure and undefiled moment never lies. You show up on a blind date and make it about her instead of making it about misguided perception. Today I wake up and make life about consciousness instead of misguided perception.
May I burn the box of perception. May my love for myself overcome my fears. May the walls that lock me in & lock truth out crumble. May I refused to be captured, enslaved by or attached to anything as I exchange expectations for the pure & undefiled moment. May I learn that the human experience is a mirror revealing my true reflection. May I have the courage to know myself, so that others can know me better
There are people in this world called sociopaths or pathological liars. A sociopath is a person who turns life into their own fantasy. Sociopaths recreate them self as a character in their own story and they freely construct elaborate lies to reinforce their story. Sociopaths are afraid of the truth so they shelter themselves inside a story. An extreme sociopath is a person who begins to believe their own story and they feel justified in lying to preserve the bases of their story. Today I am going to write about a form of sociopath behavior called institutionalism. Lets look deeper into the causes behind this sociopath behavior called institutionalism…
What happens when a Christian feels obligated to God? What happens when a wife feels obligated to her husband? What happens when a husband feels obligated to his wife? What happens when a child feels like a grade? What happens when an employee feels like a slave? What happens when life feels like a performance, when everything and everyone around you become the props? What does it mean when your passion is gone and you’ve lost touch with both your own humanity and the humanity of others? What does it mean when every day feels the same… that is if you can even still feel? What happens when a woman stays married only because she has no other place to go or no other way to provide for herself? What happens when a man stays married out of guilt, obligation or because the price of marriage is cheaper then the price of divorce? What happens when you go to a building called a church because you have to go and not because you want to go? What happens when life starts to get so cold that your longing for warmth becomes all consuming? What happens when your love for yourself begins to overcome your misery? What happens when your fear of losing everything is overcome by your fear of never finding true love? It has been said in order to win we must be willing to lose. In order to succeed we must be willing to fail. To find our life we must refuse to play it safe. Safe is not fun. Safe is not passionate. There is nothing romantic in playing life safe. Institutionalism is a form of sociopath behavior where playing it safe or feeling stuck leads to living a lie.
Now here is the truth… we all have felt stuck and will feel stuck many times through-out our lives. Life was never meant to be institutionalized and yet many have turned life itself into one big institution. We work because we have to, stay married because we have to and go to church because we have to. I personally believe that love and obligation are mortal enemies, but institutionalism attempts to merge love and obligation. What if life had no strings attached? What if freedom was just a decision? What if a husband and wife were held together by passion, not obligation? What if you could get a new job doing something you enjoyed, so that you didn’t feel like a slave? What if college isn’t for everyone and what if I told you that some of the wealthiest people in the world never graduated from college? If you are feeling stuck then why don’t you look your fears dead in the eyes or at least have the courage to open your eyes? It is surprisingly obvious when a person has lost their passion for you. It is obvious when your boss doesn’t see you the same anymore. It is obvious when you are failing at something or wasting your time? Time is precious, so why would you want a lie built upon obligation instead of a life built upon passion? Why would a person live a lie married to a person they don’t really love or stay married to a person who doesn’t really love them? Why would you want to waste your life in a dead end job or a job that makes you feel dead? Why would you want to keep banging your head against the wall over and over again? If you fail to reveal the truth on your terms eventually the truth will be revealed on its own terms. If you fail to use the truth to set yourself free you will live a lie not a life. We have two choices we can fall on the truth or the truth will fall down upon us. We will either empower ourselves with the truth or the truth will crush us. Why? because the truth is unstoppable.
To be enlightened is to become the truth. The truth flows like water. We must live like water and learn to flow. When water sits in the same place too long it becomes smelly, rotten and it stagnates. What if freedom was just a choice? What if you could be married to a person who truly loved you or be with a person that you truly loved? What if you could make money doing something you enjoyed and even without a college degree? I am realizing more then ever before in my own life that I am never stuck. Today I continue to make the decisions required to live in freedom. I have become an observer of truth. Observation leads to questioning and questioning leads to the truth and truth leads to freedom. I believe life is a journey to freedom that begins the day we are born. All of us have the freedom to make choices that lead to love. I am here today to tell you that you are never stuck. If each day you wake up next to a person you don’t love or next to a person who doesn’t love you, make a change because you both deserve better. You deserve better then to live in fear. You are not obligated to a sovereign God. You deserve better then a dead end job. Quit identifying with what you do. You are not a maid, a paycheck or a grade. You always have a choice and the second that you deny yourself a choice… that very second you have become institutionalized. Love is not a “have to”… love is a “want to”. Love and obligation are mortal enemies that when combined produce institutionalism. Institutionalism is a cold passionless existence, spent going through the motions. Institutionalism is living without being fully alive. If you want to play it safe in life then prepare for a cold, passionless life of obligation. If you want to be free then start questioning everything that is cold and passionless in your life. You deserve better. Time is precious, so why would you want a “lie” built upon obligation instead of a “life” built upon passion?
I love people and I hate fear. When I see people gripped by fear it breaks my heart. Here-in lies a problem because fear and false religious doctrines are often interlocked. How can one trying to eliminate fear not appear as a troublemaker when he challenges fear based doctrines? If our lives are founded upon love then love demands that we be troublemakers at times. I am not doing this for money or attention I am doing this for love. I don’t go to church and I am not selling anything. What I am trying to do is rid the world of fear and you can join me in this fight. If you think deeply it is not hard to realize that fear is behind every religion and every war we have ever fought making fear responsible for the deaths of millions of people. When a person commits suicide it is often because their fear of death is overcome by their fear of life. Nearly every psychological dysfunction is rooted in fear. The more I have meditated upon fear the more determined I become to rid the world of fear. Why don’t you join me on this mission… the first step is restoring your own childlike faith and ridding your own life of fear. Once you rid your own life of fear it immediately begins to benefit your spouse and it will literally transform the future of your children. After you see how eliminating fear helps your family you will soon begin to see how it helps other things like your relationships and your career. The elimination of fear makes it easier to both love and receive love and so you as a person will become more lovable. All this starts when you begin to love yourself so much that you no longer tolerate fear in your life. Maybe it starts when someone loves you enough to send you a note just like this note. OK, so let the battle begin. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. If you are reading this it is because I love you…
We all have equal access to spiritual enlightenment. Many have and many will come in the form of the truth incarnate… known as spiritual enlightenment. Deity exists in everything… Jesus said those who seek shall find. Jesus is God and yet God is in everything. Spiritual enlightenment in general is God… Why? because truth, reality and fully living in the present moment is experiencing God. God is all. Can we worship a tree or an animal? of course not because a tree and an animal are a part of the greater whole… We can only worship what this moment holds because all we hold is this moment. God is one and the entire universe is His reflection. I have seen religion lead people deep into depression… even suicide in a few cases. Religion is man’s attempt to control God. Religion is man’s attempt to herd people like cattle. Walking away from religion makes life better in every sense. Life inside a box is very limiting. Leaving the box of religion will add more life to your marriage; it will improve your income, deepen your friendships and increase your personal feeling of well being. When I stopped attending church I became more at peace then ever before in my life. My own personal reality has become evidence that leaving religion was the best decision I’d ever made. When I thought I had God all figured out it became a great obstacle to my spiritual growth. When I subscribed to teachers who thought they had God all figured out I lived inside their box. The true evidence of ones spiritual practice is their life. When you see the paradox of suffering and joy working together to grow a person then you have witnessed something truly spiritual. When you witness the paradox of love and facing fear working in unison to free a person you have seen something spiritual.
What did spirituality look like before religion? When you can answer that question then you have found true spirituality. Hinduism alone out dates Judaism by thousands of years. What did spirituality look like before Judaism? What did spirituality look like before Hinduism? How did native mankind… including Native Americans connect with God before religion? Answering the above questions takes courage, but the answers lead to true spirituality. What did spirituality look like before the Bible, or church buildings or temples? Remember that the truth unites. All truth is one. After studying the words of Buddha it became apparent that Jesus and Buddha taught identical messages. Buddha taught the same truths as Jesus, only Buddha existed around 500 years before Jesus existed. Now honestly I am not a Buddhist… in fact I will never be apart of any ism or anity ever again. I will never subscribe to any elitist systems. I will never attend heartless meetings or isolate myself to any particular group or category of people. I will never practice cold rituals or follow empty traditions… A man who is truly free will refuse to identify with or to be defined by any system or any person. A free man doesn’t tie his income to his spirituality lest he become a hypocrite or cause his family to live in poverty. A free man isn’t required to warn people he doesn’t know of that which he cannot say for sure. What does spirituality look like… you ask? It looks like a life lived in freedom.
Here is truth… Love leads… while fear threatens… Love gives… while fear takes… Love frees… while fear attempts to gain control. Even Jesus said “those who seek will find”. I don’t live in fear so my words are not polluted by fear. I don’t even believe in the existence of “a healthy fear”. A wise man replaces fear with a form of commonsense that can only be obtained through love. Those who refuse to be lead by love create their own enslavement to fear. The new testament of the Bible defines this as the law vs. grace. The law destroys while grace brings life. We are not under the law, but some choose to place themselves under the law. The law is symbolic of religion… and religion is man’s attempt to control God. Mankind has always sought to control that which he fears. At the heart of religion is a fearful attempt to control, but at the heart of grace is a loving attempt to free. Love and fear are the Yin and Yang of the universe. Life is a scale between love and fear. Love opens our eyes, but fear blinds us. Love is light, but fear is darkness. Love is hot, but fear is cold. Fear crushes people… and love puts them back together. Fear leaves people blind, naked, cold, hungry, thirsty, wounded and alone on a road awaiting the Good Samaritan, but all too often religion gets to them first. Religion exploits the weak and vulnerable. Religion blinds, enslaves and robs people enslaved by fear. Fear comes in many flavors which include guilt, insecurity, jealousy, greed and egotistical behavior all these are forms of fear. Many cultures are built upon fear including religions, governments and corporate cultures. Many Psychological dysfunctions are built upon fear. All the wars in our world are centered on fear. When fear is done away with all become one. The only evil in the world is the fear that veils the fact that all are one.
