Organic Church – Holy Triage

Genesis 3:22 And the LORD God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”

In the Beginning

In the beginning God was our Father. We didn’t have to worry about our next meal, our next paycheck, we didn’t have to know why, or how, or when. In the pureness of our minds we were able to live in the present moment, worry free, trusting our Father. In the beginning there was no law, only two trees representing two fruits, two futures, two choices. There was one tree that the Father warned us about and that was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The Father said for when you eat of it you will surely die. When we could have eaten from the tree of life we chose to eat of the tree of knowledge and in doing so brought into existence a new paradigm… The Paradigm of Good & Evil that Keeps Us from Seeing God.

The Consequences

The knowledge of good and evil began to obstruct our view of the Father. We became irrational, insecure, ashamed, naked and afraid. The Father that we directly communed with became a threat to us and we hid from Him. The first accusation then entered the world as a man blaming his wife, followed by the first of many murders and many other sins. People felt lost and they suddenly longed for structure or a system to fill the void once filled by the security of the Father’s love. People felt a separation from the Father and they felt a separation from each other defined as sin. Our minds were awakened in a way they were never intended to be… awakened in a way that blinded us. We began to question everything, we became discontent with simplicity, we began seeking answers where there were no answers and in this mad quest a once secure world became a dangerous place to live. We began to associate the Father with things that the Father has nothing to do with… things that we define as good and evil.

Biblical Examples of God not in Good or Evil

Jesus often demonstrated the blinding paradigm of good and evil in His parables. One example of the good and evil paradigm is found in the parable of Lazarus and the rich man. The rich man’s wealth didn’t have anything to do with the Father and the poor man’s suffering didn’t have anything to do with the Father. When we associate the Father with what we define as good and evil we often place Him in positions where He does not exist. One modern example how the paradigm of good and evil forms false doctrines is the Prosperity Doctrine. Many churches today teach that Jesus was financially rich and that we too will become financially rich by giving to the church institution. Many churches teach that the riches of the wealthy are a sign of God’s blessing upon them. The parable of Lazarus and the rich man disproves the fact that the Father has something to do with neither wealth nor poverty.

Another example when Jesus used a parable to demonstrate the blinding effects of the paradigm of good and evil is the parable of the prodigal son. The prodigal son was blinded by the paradigm of good and evil. He went to his father and asked for his inheritance early so he could go out and find what was missing in his life. In this parable the father represents God. The Father allowed the son to venture out, but only played the role of the observer. The father in this parable had nothing to do with the son’s success or failure, but rather merely played the role of the observer. The prodigal son’s quests lead him to misery and misery lead the prodigal son to return home. The misery the prodigal son created had nothing to do with the father in the story. In this parable the brother of the prodigal son is left confused and bitter by the paradigm of good and evil. The Father (God) in this parable breaks every rule in the book of parenting and in doing so completely operates outside the laws of good and evil through His exercising of pure grace.

Jesus also demonstrates how the Father operates outside the paradigm of good and evil in other parables including, but not excluding, the wheat & tares, the parable of workers wages, building bigger barns and when He asks the rich man to sell everything He has and give the money to the poor.

The Observer

In the beginning before the fall people had unobstructed communion with the Father. In the beginning by choosing to eat from the tree of knowledge we caused the Father’s role to become more of an observing role. In sin our direct connection with God becomes severed… in other words this direct connection dies. The consequence of sin in the world is tied to the suffering both that we cause and the suffering that we allow to exist. In a perfect world love fulfills the law and brings atonement. The word atonement means the undoing. Love has a sanctifying effect as it directly opposes sin. When we choose to love our enemies it brings a healing effect upon our world. When we learn to work outside the paradigm of good and evil our hearts beat with the heartbeat of Christ. The word holy means to be set apart. We become holy when we rise above the paradigm of good and evil, when we see beyond its blinding effect. Jesus said you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free. Jesus came to open the eyes of the blind, to open the ears of the deaf and to set the captives free. We connect with the Father when we learn to observe like the Father.

Connecting with the Observer

1 Thessalonians 5:17 pray without ceasing,

What is prayer and how can we pray without ceasing? Could prayer be open eyes, open ears, a heightened sense of awareness where within holiness we obtain the ability to observe the way the Father observes? Could real prayer in its essences be the ability to see beyond, to rise above, to experience depth in the same way the Father does? What is walking in the spirit and could it possibly relate to praying without ceasing? How does connecting with the observer change our awareness? How does heightened awareness effect our actions? Does heightened awareness give us the ability to love in a way we once were unable to love? Upon our physical deaths do we completely and perfectly connect with the observer? In the book of Hebrews the Bible speaks of a cloud of witnesses could they be observing with the Father?

As I laid in bed from 3AM to 4AM thinking about this it became fascinating to consider how much sense it made!

On many days I am not a God fearing man. Being a prince is a lot of pressure for an imperfect man to bare. How about we add the fact that the ideal man does not even exist, therefore God’s solution is the fact that He asks us to be merciful (meaning not punishing when someone deserves it) and gracious (meaning being nice even when someone doesn’t deserve it).

I have been with my wife Jana 16 years and I can say with all certainty that I am far from the prince that she deserves. If my wife was looking for the ideal man I would have never made it past the first date (I said stupid things on our first date). Did I mention the fact that we met in a bar and neither of us was sober. I was what many would consider a backslider christian and my wife rarely thought about herself as a christian. In fact if either of us were waiting for or looking for the ideal mate…… both of us would still be single.

Just saying (with a smile) my own perspective. Jesus didn’t die so we could sin, He died because we do sin. Grace and mercy means accepting that as handsome and as beautiful a person may be…. we as Jesus did need to lay down our own lives and sacrifice our definition of what is ideal sometimes. He may not always be the handsome prince. She may not be always be the beautiful princess so grace and mercy become the glue that keeps people together. Without out grace and mercy we will find ourselves either continually being kicked to the curb or continually kicking people to the curb.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Remember the quote “too good to be true” and you will be OK.

In the past I have been guilty of planning and producing the “Me Show”. The “ME SHOW” is about trying to be somebody when you feel deep down like a nobody. I find it easy to love and forgive those types of people because I know what it is like to feel like a “nobody”. I have had friends that constantly boast and I have accepted them knowing that behind all the bragging lies pure misery. When your identity is based upon external forces that are beyond your control…. life is like riding a wild horse that can never be broken. I see people everyday thinking they have the power to break the wild horse (life), but these people are only happy when they are temporarily holding something, something that will eventually lead to their deep misery when the wild horse (life) kicks them off… over and over again. This is why I find the Buddhist concepts of desire leading to pain very realistic.

Now that my “ME SHOW” is over my goal today is to simply pour out my heart with no strings attached…. even draw attention toward others and away from me when I have the opportunity. Love given and received freely is my reward. I am glad to not be in a position where my financial security or my self esteem is dependent upon my popularity. I can freely speak my mind without the worry of people deleting me from their friends lists. After graduating from Bible college I decided not to be a pastor because watching other people’s “me shows” started making me sick to my stomach.

The best favor anyone can do for themselves is avoid seeking an identity in the girls, the gold and the glory. The smart girls can usually see right through you, the gold is easily lost unless you make it your wicked slave master and the fame only opens the doorway to controversy. When people identify with the girls, the gold and the glory they invite destructive fears into their lives…. fears that often bring death to their door step early.

On a recent visit to my father’s house in CA my cat started doing something weird. As I was working at a desk I heard a clawing noise behind me. When I turned around I was surprised to find my cat sucking on a fuzzy purple robe and doing this marching motion with only his front paws. When I first saw this behavior I laughed because I knew right away it was a harmless disorder some cats have called kneading. My cat did this kneading for around 30 minutes straight and then curled up in a ball to take his routine nap. The next morning I noticed my cat kneading again, pawing and sucking this fuzzy purple robe for around 30 minutes each morning for 9 days straight.

As I have grown spiritually over the years I learned many new things. I have learned that ones psychological state effects how they see God and each other. I have learned that animals are complex creatures with personalities and they feel emotions. When I was a Christian I had a tendency to over-simplify everything in order to feel a sense of control. I looked at animals as disposable entertainment because we were taught that animals didn’t have souls. I was taught as a Christian to compartmentalize everything into it’s appropriate category. As I grew spiritually I realized that the tree of knowledge created this compartmentalizing and categorizing disorder a tradition carried on by religion. I have learned over the years exactly what Jesus meant when He said do not judge in Mat 7:1-2. I have learned that duality is a crime to spirituality.

Some people believe a cat’s kneading behavior is a developmental issue caused early on when a cat is a kitten. I suspect that when a kitten has either nursed too long or not long enough the psychological impact causes this weird behavior. As I watched my cat’s weirdness each morning I began to wonder about the weirdness in myself caused by the things in my past. I wondered about the wounds that were left unhealed far too long or development that may have been stunted by a well meaning nurturer. I love my cat in spite of his weirdness to the degree that I consider him a member of the family. In fact I love my cat more because of his weirdness because his weirdness makes me feel more connected with him. Why does human weirdness have to divide people as it often does? The simple reason I could connect with my kneading cat is the fact that I am connected to my own weirdness. Jesus said before you attempt to remove the speck in your brother’s eye first remove the plank in your own. Our familiarity with our own flaws is what helps us to see more clearly for the purpose of loving people in the purest form possible.

So there you have it…. a lesson on weirdness and how it connects with a beautiful side of loving each other. If you understand weirdness you can love someone deeper, but if you refuse to understand weirdness your relationships will lack the grace and mercy that Jesus spoke about. Love thrives in understanding and dies when it is not understood or when a person refuses to understand. So much for blind faith. Understanding breeds compassion, forgiveness and grace. To be loved is to be understood, to be lonely is to be constantly misunderstood.

There is a running theme in many of the parables Jesus taught that makes the simple statement… “show up”. Show up for the wedding feast, show up to work, show up at home after a long journey that takes you to a place feeding pigs and even eating the pig food. Show up to the challenge of taking your talents and making them multiply. Show up to eat, to drink, to visit the imprisoned, to care for the sick and needy, to free the captives (so they are free to show up too). Show up at the very kingdom of God that is both amongst us and within us. Show up to gather with two or more in Christ’s name and He will show up.

Jesus welcomed everyone to show up thieves, prostitutes, races of people that were previously rejected by the Jews, tax collectors (basically politicians). When Jesus called out to “the world”…. He meant it and when He used the word “all”…. He meant it. Jesus was more concerned with the obsticals that prevented people from showing up (the religious leaders) then He was concerned with trying to determine which individuals had the potential to show up. Jesus simply says “come” follow me and He says to everyone regardless of race, class, sexual gender or religion.

God gave me a dream one night 5 years ago that showed the institutional church trying to place God’s living water behind a dam (making it stale and bitter water, rotten like manna not eaten the same day) and I heard God’s voice say open the floodgates so I can build up my church. My life began to change and I met Darin Hufford author of “The Misunderstood God” a year later. Today I know a lot of people who have heard God speak this same message to their hearts. Things are changing faster then you realize because the present economy is challenging the institution and revealing their wickedness. GOD HIMSELF is building an army and people are being freed from slavery…. and all the while the hearts of the religious leaders grow harder and more calloused.

Today I want you to think about the word “presence”. What keeps you from being present? The ultimate form of presence in someones life is true love. What keeps you from loving with no strings attached? What keeps you from “showing up”?

All the illusions I constructed my identity from became held in the ego’s death grip as my eyes were opened to the great contradiction known as my life. Now at this point I could either create a reason to continue believing lies (denial) or I could take a huge leap of faith by nailing my former self with all it’s grandiose ambitions to the cross. To repent means to change course. Two roads become visible the wide road and the narrow road. When I look back on my life it becomes painfully evident that I have been on the road of destruction and now I either admit it or carry on pretending that the pain does not exist. However sin is killing me… I can feel it as the stress hormones course through my veins and my heart races out of control. My relationships either end quickly or are a complete joke. Life has become a destructive pursuit of that very first high… a high that may never return again. To change course now would require starting over, relearning everything all over again, my whole mind would have to be rebuilt and my heart would have to be renewed… I would literally have to be born again.

There has been collective spiritual growth through the centuries; yet most refuse to learn from the history of slobbering babies who could not get along with God or each other. Today the institutional church baths in ego when they demonize other spiritual belief systems and choose to give precedence to political & military powers over love. The old testament is an accurate history book about God’s bride Israel getting it wrong over and over again. Those who refuse to question Israels actions risk repeating the same mistakes. If genocide is wrong today it was wrong yesterday too. If slavery is wrong today it was wrong yesterday too. If sexism is wrong today it was wrong yesterday too. If racism is wrong today it was wrong yesterday too. If we fail to learn from history we will be doomed to repeat it both collectively and individually. The opposite of love is fear and ego is a form of fear. God is love, satan is ego.

Satan is ego. I am not talking about the sense of self that enables you to understand others. Let me demonstrate the characteristic of ego as the Bible in 1st Cor 13 demonstrates the characteristics of love. Ego takes a believer and reduces him to a judge sitting high and mighty with the idea that he can fix the world around him. Ego breeds a hero complex instead of love. Ego causes division amongst people as they try to fix each other instead of love each other. Ego causes believers to fail at providing others room to grow. Ego wants to brand movements of God under a particular denomination. Ego is what causes institutional churches to focus on growth at any cost as they consume money meant for the poor to build bigger buildings. Ego sends believers out to find their lives / purpose and causes them to self destruct in the process. Ego is what makes true spiritual community impossible because it creates the masks we wear when we are afraid to let people see our messy lives. Ego paints the illusion that some are better then others so that all of us aim to become something instead of just living / loving in the moment. Ego is usually behind unforgiveness and thirst for vengeance. Ego collectively causes wars amongst nations who think it is their job to fix each other. Ego leads ultimately to death as it breads hatred which is murder. Ego is a heavy burden to bare and it crushes people slowly suffocating them under it’s weight. Ego breeds idolatry causing people to reverence men more then they reverence God. Ego is shallow and superficial; it destroys families driving men and women to mid-life crisis in search of a new partner to satisfy their egos hunger. Ego is satan.

Our imperfect human nature will subconsciously and naturally look outward to fill internal emptiness. Jesus said “Man shall not live by bread alone”. If there is a fire inside your house eating out is not the solution. True it is hard to find the time these days to reflect inward. Reflection and meditiation are often uncomfortable especially if we are completely honest with ourself in the process. Sometimes we would actually rather read books that are the result of other peoples’ reflection and meditiation to find a solution. Sometimes we would rather gleen from other’s intimacy with God rather then experience our own intimacy with God. We wonder why our problems not only fail to be solved, but seem to get worse. Seeking outside solutions may provide shallow and momentary relief, but not a genuine solution.

We constantly try to solve spiritual problems with physical solutions. Reaching outward for solutions only further blinds us causing more stumbling in the dark. The truth is our psychology and our spiritual state of being are the same. The same lies that cause our psychological problems are also creating our spiritual problems. You cannot seperate pschology and spirituality. The lies we believe about ourself, God, others, the past, the future or anything else these same lies will influence our spiritual beliefs. The only cure is finding the truth and in the truth finding freedom. Meditation and reflection done honestly will lead us toward the truth and ultimately to freedom. Many of the spiritual leaders today sought out these positions as a cure for their own emptiness only to find a deeper emptiness. God is not calling you outward, but inward. Many people I have met with a so-called “calling from God” turned out to be very psychologically damaged and ministry was a way of running from the truth about themselves.

Looking for God…… well you will find Him in your own heart if you look for Him there. The image of God is true lawfulfilling love. Healthy marriages, healthy parenting and healthy relationships reveal a kind of love that heals the soul. The source of healthy relationships is a correct view of ourselves that comes from God. We have to get that love directly from God and not mediators like churches, pastors, books or any other outside source. We are responsible to have our own intimate relationship with God first hand. What if in my marriage I had some mediator between my wife and I? What if I only related to my wife through what other people said about her in her old year books? Jesus said “see this temple? I tell you not one stone will be left upon another”. God does not like mediators and He Himself is knocking on your heart wanting to come inside. Jesus said call no man Rabi, father or teacher. Relating to God through mediators will only give you a foggy view of God at the least. Do you want to settle for at best a blurry view of God for the rest of your life?

Faith in illusions is a bondage. I see people in chains every single day. Even somedays I find myself in chains. One way anxiety comes into existance is when we have more fear of our weaknesses then we have faith in God. The real Gospel is just as much about freedom then it is about grace. Jesus said it Himself… He said He came to set the captives free. Every single day I see people in chains and sometimes it is me. Jesus already paid the price for our freedom and so freedom is just a matter of choice. Freedom is not always an easy choice and therefore many choose captivity over freedom. People may seem happy in prison, but they are still captive. In prison you can still eat, sleep and communicate. In prison you can even have good days, but you are still in prison. Here is a reality that can free you from bondage. We are all in a prison and not only are we in prison, but we all are on death row.

 Freedom and intimacy go hand and hand. When we are not free our relationships suffer horrible consequences. A person cannot be intimate with God or anyone until they are free. The gates of hell shall not prevail. Paul called himself a bond slave. A bond slave was a slave that was set free, but then chose to willfully serve his master for life. Freedom first then true service is next. Some people seem free, but there is obligation at the core of everything they do. If our actions don’t come out of our hearts or they are not founded upon love then we are not free. If your faith is placed in an illusion you have no free will because the illusion is your master.

Our faith is often placed in illusions. In life there is one true reality and that is love. A person cannot be intimate with God or anyone until they have faith in that someone. Our goal should be to tear down the things that compete against reality in peoples’ lives. Today we may find out the things we held so dear were actually holding us. Today the true foundation of our lives may be proven weak as it starts to crumble. Today we may find out who really is free in Christ vs who was putting on a good show when their false foundations seemed strong. Trials bring awareness of our weaknesses and sometimes simple awareness is the solution. Humility combined with trials will bring us precious lessons. Lessons are the realization of where we fall in the scale of illusion and reality. We live in a constant battle between who we think we are verses who we actually are as a person. Our faith is always on either a reality or an illusion.

Meditation is disconnecting from the noise to hear the voice within. This voice is still and small so it requires the elimination of the chaos and focus. Some people live off what they know, but eventually this runs out. In the Bible David was on the run for quite sometime as Saul was trying to kill him. I wonder home many of his Psalms were written in hiding? Obviously trials can take us to a place where we have no choice, but to sit alone and hear from God. Trials build character. Why? Trials will often bring us to a place of reflection. Questions wake us up and sometimes life brings us the right questions through circumstances or the lips of another. Why is this happening? What am I feeling inside? What is the purpose? Where is God inside these circumstances? Seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened? Do we seek and knock alone? Can others seek for us? Questions awaken, they reach deep inside us to invoke God’s voice. When the Bible talks about obediance it really means listening. Obediance is listening. Are you listening?

Pride is when we in our stubborness refuse to ask the right questions. Pride is when we continue on our own path and refuse to divert even when things are not working. I have known many prideful people and have known my own pride over the years. People become insistant about how things are done and will take no outside advice… not even God’s. Some of the christians that block God’s voice actually do it in His name. Some christians block God’s voice because they truly believe they have Him all figured out. Pride cannot hear a still small voice because pride won’t be still as in it’s stubborness it will keep moving forward even when things are not working. Pride cannot be small because it is always big and never has time to focus on things it defines as little. On the list of the sins God hates pride is number one because pride is what blocks us from connecting with His voice. We please God by listening to Him. Without faith it is impossible to please God. It takes faith to stop and focus to hear His still small voice. God loves us… He is love. What is true love telling you?